No prudes and granny pant hot heads allowed here today, because I got a thing or two to talk about with the notion of a woman being "kinky".
So what IS the definition of KINKY?...
But why, tell me WHY is this still thought of as taboo, or hush hush, or worse... openly and vocally shamed?
It's not uncommon knowledge that men can be sexual beings but the moment a woman does... she is a slut, a whore, an "easy catch" - honey: stpp, drop and roll, get off your pony that you think is a high horse and take a hard look in the mirror.
Your body is your body to use. Your consent is your consent to utilise how you wish. Your clothing is your clothing to choose, however little, lavished or covering it may be.
We're sadly still encumbered be a social dilemma within society whereby if a woman is attacked in the street, she was "asking for it" - really? The last time I checked, my skirts and dresses didn't have the gift of the gab and the only sound my high heels make is clickity clack, not "hey Joe, you wanna come tap dat?"
Perhaps I am being prompted by the latest news broadcasts casting sombre tones of abuse from the heart of South West London (RIP Sarah Everard), to the more recent Asian Hate Crimes across the pond in the States where multiple Asian women were killed at a spa in Atlanta.
The suspect of the shootings in fact told the police that he had a “sexual addiction” and had carried out the shootings at the massage parlors to eliminate his “temptation,” the authorities said on Wednesday. He also said that he had frequented massage parlors in the past and launched the attacks as a form of vengeance.
With that rather sickening fact, let's just take a moment to remember the names of the women lost whilst I have your attention:
(PSA: Though a man was also killed, it is expected based on the premises of the event that he was simply "unlucky" to have been at the spa during the attack- he was not a vindicated victim)
I want to understand why Asian culture in particular is fetishised. Because it would be foolish to argue otherwise. One must only flick through some 90s and 00s sitcoms or comedic thriller films to identify a heavy leaning upon "Chinese or Thai girls" being naughty, and that a "trip to the massage parlour" must have a "happy ending". Just switch on Bridget Jones's Diary, Austin Powers or even Rush Hour with Jackie Chan and you'll see what I'm getting at.
Beauty throughout Asian history has always been a key focal point and something cherished by the rich and complex culture. Take the Geisha, for example. Skin covered in opaque white pigment, adorned with a standard 40lbs kimono, wooden soled clogs, and thick ebony hair balanced strategically like a game of jenga as they wafted in docile purity through the cherry blossom kissed streets of Kyoto.
Less "beautiful" is the recognition of feet binding in Ancient China, where women of higher status were expected to bind their feet with taught bandages during adolescence so that they were no more than around 3 inches long and in the shape of a lotus.
Speaking in more modern terms now, Korea is the largest exporter, importer and profitable country for everything and anything related to cosmetics and beauty. Dubbed K-Beauty, they are rising stars in the realm of makeup and skincare, now influencing the West as opposed to the prior vice versa scenario.
What I'm trying to get at here is that an Asian woman is not a fetish. A Thai woman from Bangkok is not here to make you feel a certain way. A Japanese kawaii girl is not dressing up to fulfill your fantasies. A Chinese lady is not there to give you a "fortune cookie in the bedroom".
If anything, these women are the women with the Dragon Tattoos on their backs. They are the women who in history have spent hours on their feet plucking rice fields to feed their family. They are the women who have immigrated and built businesses of their own for better lives. They are the rising musical prodigy's taking over music and bringing cultural diversity into the white-washed pool of pop idols. They are the fashion designers bringing back craftsmanship and obliterating caucasian driven fast fashion.
Asian women are no different to you and I. We all share the same frame, blood, mind and soul.
Enough is enough with the culturally influenced kinks and the fetishes... By all means, whip out the whipped cream onto your melons, clip on the fluffy handcuffs and role play to your hearts desire!
But please - ladies and or gentleman - bite your tongue, think and learn upon recent events. And together: let's create a cultural catalyst for change.