Am I Good Enough?
Living with a chronic illness automatically makes the individual critique their very own existence. My brain certainly is in a perpetual chugging and churning motion of fear, questioning, ups and downs, blues and reds...
On the days where my health is at tenterhooks and I rely on others for help, I feel guilty. On the days where my sky is overcast and I have a rain cloud following me wherever I go, I blame myself. On the days where everything is just "too much", I feel undeserving of love.
Why and how has society conditioned us into such a state that we fear asking for help or appearing weak? Why and how has the world we live in made us succumb to a notion of needing to be put together all the time?
What hurts most of all is when someone you actually know or care for deeply is the perpetrator and contributor to your internal belief that you're a waste of space. Or a burden. And or everything in between.
You try your best, but it's not good enough.
You try to be quiet, but you're still too loud.
You try to work hard, but the work's still not cut out for business.
You try to be independent, but still need guidance.
You fail at a single task, and it outweighs all your accomplishments.
You know what I mean. And if you are not familiar with this leaden hearted anchor of herculean sorrow, then you are one lucky so and so.
Because I feel it everyday.
For those of you struggling to see the beauty and perfection naturally emitting from your pores, listen to me and repeat:
♥️ I am good enough
🧡 My flaws do not erase my qualities
💛 My problems aren't that problematic
💜 I may not be totally independent, but I am a unique and individual person
💖 Things may not be how I want them to be right now, but that doesn't mean they will remain this way
♥️ Words are just words, and when I feel hurt from another person, I'll take my mental eraser and scrub it out!
🧡 I deserve love and tenderness, care and affection
💛 It is okay for me to say no and to put myself first
💜 I do not have to be perfect and put together 24/7
💖 I am allowed to feel my emotions, to cry, to vent, to say how I feel and to act to better those feelings inside me
Sometimes we need to be given permission just to be ourselves - which is sad. But hopefully, with time and with consistent positive affirmations to ourselves, we can shift our mindset and warped perceptions that we are the little guy.
You are not the little guy.
You're the BIG guy. You are that star in the sky that shines the brightest. You are capable fof greatness, even if that greatness is not "high enough a standard" so another person's' definition of the meaning.
We all have different paths and callings in life. We all have struggles and woes. But don't you dare let someone - no matter who they are - make you think you need to be put on a shelf or tucked away in a drawer because of one short straw out of a thousand long ones.
Own your sh⭐️t
I give you permission